IELTS.WORK

IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - The importance of social cohesion in a multicultural society

IELTS.WORK Free Online Writing Practice # 1713061895

IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic: The importance of social cohesion in a multicultural society

Question: "Some people argue that social cohesion is essential for the success of a multicultural society, while others claim that it is not necessary. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion."

Model Answer:

In today's globalized world, the concept of multicultural societies has become more prevalent than ever before. People from diverse backgrounds and cultures are living together in the same community, which has its pros and cons. In this essay, I will discuss both views on the importance of social cohesion in a multicultural society and express my own opinion on the matter.

On one hand, some people argue that social cohesion is essential for the success of a multicultural society. They believe that a strong sense of community among different cultural groups can help to prevent conflicts and tensions that may arise due to cultural differences. Furthermore, they claim that social cohesion fosters mutual understanding, respect, and tolerance among people from various backgrounds, which are critical for maintaining harmony in the society. For instance, successful integration programs can play a crucial role in promoting social cohesion by offering language classes, cultural events, and community services that cater to the needs of diverse populations.

On the other hand, there are those who argue that social cohesion is not necessary in a multicultural society. They believe that each individual or group should be able to maintain their distinct cultural identity without being forced to integrate with others. According to this viewpoint, a multicultural society thrives when all cultures can coexist peacefully and respect one another's differences, but there is no need for them to form a unified community. For example, in some countries like Switzerland, various ethnic groups live side by side without the necessity of social cohesion.

In my opinion, while it may not be necessary for every multicultural society to achieve complete social cohesion, efforts should still be made to promote understanding and tolerance among different cultural groups. A certain level of social cohesion can help in reducing potential misunderstandings, prejudice, and discrimination that may arise due to cultural differences. Moreover, successful integration programs can not only contribute to social cohesion but also provide opportunities for personal growth and development for individuals from diverse backgrounds.

In conclusion, although some people believe that social cohesion is unnecessary in a multicultural society, it plays an essential role in promoting harmony, understanding, and mutual respect among different cultural groups. While each culture should be allowed to maintain its unique identity, fostering social cohesion through integration programs and shared experiences can help create a more peaceful and tolerant community for everyone.

IELTS Scoring:

- Task Response: 9 (The candidate has provided a detailed response to the question, addressing both arguments and presenting their own opinion.)
- Coherence and Cohesion: 8 (The essay is well structured and logically organized, with appropriate cohesive devices used throughout.)
- Lexical Resource: 8.5 (The candidate uses a wide range of vocabulary, some of which may be less common, and the grammar is mostly accurate but occasionally has minor errors.)
- Presentation of ideas: 9 (The essay presents clear and concise arguments with appropriate use of examples to support the points made.)

Source: https://ielts.work/?id=1713061895&page=ielts-writing-practice

For more: https://ielts.work/?page=ielts-writing-practice