IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - Is society becoming more or less inclusive of marginalized groups?

IELTS.WORK Free Online Writing Practice # 1712878477

Task 2 Topic:"Is society becoming more or less inclusive of marginalized groups?"


Model Answer:

In recent years, there has been a growing awareness and emphasis on the need for societal inclusiveness, particularly in relation to marginalized groups. The question of whether society is indeed becoming more inclusive can be analyzed from various perspectives, including education, employment, social media, and legal frameworks.

On one hand, significant progress has been made in terms of educational opportunities for marginalized groups. Many governments have implemented policies and programs that aim to provide equal access to quality education for all, regardless of their background or circumstances. For example, scholarships have been established specifically for underprivileged students, and schools are increasingly adopting inclusive curricula that celebrate diversity and promote understanding among different cultures and communities. This shift in educational practices has helped create a more level playing field for marginalized groups, allowing them to access education and subsequently, employment opportunities that were previously out of reach.

In terms of employment, there have been concerted efforts made by both the public and private sectors to promote diversity and inclusion in the workplace. Companies are increasingly recognizing the importance of hiring a diverse workforce not only for ethical reasons but also because it has been proven to boost creativity, innovation, and overall performance. As a result, more and more marginalized individuals have found themselves gaining access to previously unavailable job opportunities, contributing to a more inclusive society.

Social media has played a pivotal role in raising awareness about marginalized groups and promoting inclusiveness. Through social media platforms, stories of discrimination, prejudice, and inequality are shared, reaching a global audience that can rally behind the cause of social justice. This increased visibility has led to more people becoming aware of the challenges faced by marginalized communities, fostering empathy and understanding among different groups.

Legal frameworks have also evolved to support the rights of marginalized individuals. Laws and regulations now exist in many countries that protect the rights of minority groups and prohibit discrimination based on race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, and disability, among others. While there is still room for improvement in terms of enforcement and awareness, these legal frameworks have contributed to a society that is becoming more inclusive over time.

In conclusion, while it is clear that there are still significant challenges faced by marginalized groups in society, there is evidence to suggest that progress has been made in terms of education, employment, social media, and legal frameworks. As awareness continues to grow and initiatives continue to be implemented, it can be argued that society is indeed becoming more inclusive of marginalized groups. However, much work remains to be done to ensure true equality and inclusiveness for all members of society.

Scoring:

- Task Response: 9 (The response is fully relevant to the topic and demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the issue.)
- Coherence and Cohesion: 8 (The essay is well-structured and logically organized, with a clear progression of ideas. Transitions are used effectively to connect different parts of the essay.)
- Lexical Resource: 8 (The vocabulary choice is varied and appropriate for the topic, but there may be occasional lapses in accuracy or overuse of less common vocabulary.)
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 8 (There are few grammar errors, although there are some instances of awkward phrasing or unclear sentences. The overall grammar is generally accurate and advanced.)

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