IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - Is society becoming more or less tolerant of diversity?
IELTS.WORK Free Online Writing Practice # 1712244903
Topic: "Is society becoming more or less tolerant of diversity?"
Model Answer:
In recent years, there have been significant advancements in the acceptance and recognition of diverse cultures, genders, religions, and orientations within societies around the world. This has led to a growing awareness and understanding of the value of diversity, as well as an increased effort to promote tolerance and respect for all individuals. However, it is important to consider both the positive progress that has been made and the challenges that still remain in order to accurately assess whether society is becoming more or less tolerant of diversity.
On one hand, there have been numerous instances where societies have become more inclusive and accepting of diverse groups. For example, same-sex marriage has been legalized in an increasing number of countries, reflecting a broader societal shift towards recognizing and valuing the rights and relationships of all individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation. Additionally, many nations have implemented policies aimed at reducing discrimination based on race, religion, gender, or disability, such as affirmative action programs and anti-discrimination laws. These initiatives demonstrate a commitment to fostering an environment where diversity is celebrated and respected.
On the other hand, there are still numerous instances of intolerance and discrimination that persist in societies worldwide. Hate crimes, prejudice, and stereotyping continue to affect members of minority groups, particularly those who experience intersectional oppression based on multiple aspects of their identities. Furthermore, the rise of nationalist movements and xenophobic ideologies in some parts of the world have resulted in a backlash against diversity and an increase in discrimination against immigrants, refugees, and other outsider groups.
In conclusion, it is difficult to definitively state whether society as a whole is becoming more or less tolerant of diversity, as there are both positive advancements and persistent challenges. While significant progress has been made in some areas, such as legal recognition of same-sex marriage and anti-discrimination policies, the persistence of intolerance and discrimination against diverse groups demonstrates that there is still much work to be done. In order to create a truly inclusive and accepting society, it is essential for individuals, communities, and governments to continue working towards breaking down barriers and fostering an environment where diversity is celebrated and respected.
Overall
Band Score:
7.5/
9
Task Response:
8 - The response addresses the topic fully and demonstrates a clear understanding of the issues involved. It presents a balanced argument, taking into account different perspectives and providing relevant examples to support its points.
Coherence and Cohesion:
7.5 - The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas flow logically from one point to another, and the writer effectively uses cohesive devices such as transitions and repetition to maintain a coherent structure throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource:
7 - The vocabulary used is generally appropriate and varied, with some less common words and phrases that add interest and precision to the argument. However, there are a few instances where simpler or more familiar words would be more effective in conveying the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy:
8 - The grammar is largely accurate, with only minor errors that do not significantly impact the overall understanding of the essay. The writer effectively uses a range of sentence structures to maintain interest and vary the style of the writing, but there are a few instances where the grammar is slightly awkward or unclear.
Presentation of Ideas:
8 - The ideas are presented in a clear, logical manner that allows readers to follow the argument easily. The writer effectively uses examples and explanations to support their points, and provides a balanced perspective by acknowledging both the progress made and the challenges that remain.
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