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IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - Is society becoming more or less inclusive of marginalized groups?

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IELTS Writing Task 2 Topic: "Is society becoming more or less inclusive of marginalized groups?"

Model Answer:

In recent years, there has been a growing debate about whether society is becoming more or less inclusive of marginalized groups. Some argue that the increasing awareness and activism around social issues have led to greater acceptance and inclusion, while others believe that the rapid pace of globalization and technological advancement has led to increased discrimination and exclusion. In this essay, I will examine both perspectives and provide a conclusion based on the available evidence.

On one hand, there are several reasons to believe that society is becoming more inclusive. For instance, the rise of social media platforms has allowed marginalized groups to share their stories and experiences with a broader audience. This increased visibility has helped to raise awareness about the challenges faced by these communities and has led to greater empathy and understanding among the general population. Additionally, there have been significant legal and policy changes in many countries that protect the rights of marginalized groups and promote diversity and inclusion in various sectors, such as employment, education, and housing.

On the other hand, there are also valid concerns that society is becoming less inclusive. For example, the rise of nationalist movements and populism in several parts of the world has contributed to a resurgence of xenophobia and discrimination against minority groups. This trend can be seen in political rhetoric, public discourse, and even acts of violence targeted at these communities. Moreover, economic disparities continue to exist, with marginalized groups often facing systemic barriers that prevent them from fully participating in society.

In conclusion, while there are both positive and negative trends in terms of societal inclusion for marginalized groups, the overall picture is complex and multifaceted. While some progress has been made in promoting understanding and acceptance, significant challenges remain. The key to creating a more inclusive society lies in continued dialogue, education, and policy reform that specifically addresses and dismantles systemic barriers faced by these communities.

Overall score: Band 8
- Task Response: Band 9 (The response addressed the question fully and provided relevant details.)
- Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8 (The essay was coherent, with a clear progression of ideas, but some sentences were slightly repetitive or overly complex.)
- Lexical Resource: Band 7.5 (Appropriate vocabulary was used throughout the essay, but there is room for improvement in terms of more advanced and varied vocabulary.)
- Grammar: Band 8.5 (The grammar was mostly accurate, with only a few minor errors that did not affect the overall clarity of the essay.)

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