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IELTS Free Online Writing Practice - Is cultural assimilation necessary social cohesion?

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Task 2 Topic: "Is cultural assimilation necessary for social cohesion?"

Model Answer:

Cultural assimilation is an important factor in the establishment of social cohesion within diverse societies. This essay will discuss both the positive and negative aspects of cultural assimilation, as well as argue that it is a necessary component for achieving social cohesion.

On one hand, cultural assimilation can contribute to social cohesion by promoting unity and understanding among different cultural groups. When individuals adopt the language, customs, and values of the majority culture, communication becomes easier, fostering cooperation and mutual respect. For example, in Australia, the policy of multiculturalism has encouraged immigrants to integrate into mainstream society by learning English and participating in national events. This process has helped to create a more harmonious and cohesive society.

On the other hand, cultural assimilation can lead to the loss of cultural diversity and identity, which may hinder social cohesion. The imposition of dominant culture on minority groups can result in resentment and division, as seen in the historical treatment of indigenous people in North America. Additionally, the process of assimilation can create a sense of alienation among individuals who feel they must abandon their own traditions to belong.

However, despite these potential drawbacks, cultural assimilation remains an essential component for social cohesion. In an increasingly globalized world, it is crucial for societies to find common ground and work together towards shared goals. This can only be achieved if individuals from diverse backgrounds are willing to adapt and integrate with one another. Furthermore, the process of assimilation does not necessarily mean the eradication of cultural diversity; rather, it encourages the blending of cultures and the development of a unified national identity.

In conclusion, while cultural assimilation presents both benefits and challenges, it is ultimately necessary for social cohesion in multicultural societies. By fostering understanding and cooperation among different cultural groups, assimilation can promote unity and mutual respect, essential elements for a harmonious and cohesive society.

Scoring:

Content: 8 - The model answer effectively addresses the question and provides relevant information on both sides of the argument. It also offers a strong conclusion that supports the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: 9 - The paragraphs are logically structured, with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and conclusion. The transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth, which contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.

Lexical Resource: 8 - The model answer uses a wide range of vocabulary to express complex ideas. However, it could benefit from a few more synonyms or varied sentence structures to further enhance its lexical resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 9 - The grammar in the model answer is mostly accurate, with only a few minor errors. The sentence structures are varied and complex, demonstrating a high level of grammatical range and accuracy.

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